brain scratch (dethbunny) wrote,
brain scratch

Okay, no more nifty formatting...

SAM: "Speech center?? I thought Max had a cream center."


STEWARDESS: "I've been authorized by the captain to give you boys
            ANYTHING you want."
MAX: "Then bring me all the unclothed women my poor eyes can stand!"
SAM: "Jesus, Max, take it easy-- you don't even LIKE girls!"
MAX: "Oh, yeah, in that case-- how about some more of these great peanuts?"
SAM: "You crack me up, little buddy!"


Sam: "Don't touch it, Max.  You'll get GERMS!"
Max: "Whoso pulleth this linoleum knife from this milkman is rightwise
     king born of England!"

Sam: "My little buddy here needs to use the facilities."
Max: "Facilities be damned! I need a bathroom!"


(Sam holds up time bomb)
Sam: "Where should I put this thing so that it doesn't hurt anyone we know
     or care about?"
Max: "Out the window, Sam.  There's nobody but strangers out there."


MAX: "The goons are riding motorcycles, but we've got a WHOLE, BIG METAL
     CAR!  This will be like STEPPING ON ANTS!"
SAM: "It wouldn't be sporting to just run over them... would it?"
MAX: "Yes... yes, it would!"


MAX: "I feel lightheaded, Sam.  I think my brain is out of air.  But it's
     kind of a neat feeling."


MAX: "I have to use the ghastly-smelling restroom!"
SAM: "Here -- use these special tongs for anything you have to handle."


SAM: "Sometime we should sit down and have a spiritual discussion about the
     sanctity of life."
MAX: "BLAM!  And then he was mucilage!  Did you say something, Sam?"
SAM: "Forget it, little buddy."


SAM: "Max, in America, it's customary to drive on the right."
MAX: "It's turning into a damn police state, Sam!"


STOREKEEPER: "NOOO.  I can't stand it.  It's killing me!  AARRGH!"
SAM: "I've never witnessed such mind-numbing horror -- well there was that
     geriatric, nude-volleyball tournament..."


MAX: "Did you check the car to see if it's okay for a long trip Sam?"
SAM: "Well, the wheels are still on... and here's the ignition key,
     everything checks out."


MAX (wearing eyepatch): "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye!  And
                        believe me, I KNOW!"

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