SAM: "Speech center?? I thought Max had a cream center." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= STEWARDESS: "I've been authorized by the captain to give you boys ANYTHING you want." MAX: "Then bring me all the unclothed women my poor eyes can stand!" SAM: "Jesus, Max, take it easy-- you don't even LIKE girls!" MAX: "Oh, yeah, in that case-- how about some more of these great peanuts?" SAM: "You crack me up, little buddy!" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Sam: "Don't touch it, Max. You'll get GERMS!" Max: "Whoso pulleth this linoleum knife from this milkman is rightwise king born of England!"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Sam: "My little buddy here needs to use the facilities." Max: "Facilities be damned! I need a bathroom!" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= (Sam holds up time bomb) Sam: "Where should I put this thing so that it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?" Max: "Out the window, Sam. There's nobody but strangers out there." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAX: "The goons are riding motorcycles, but we've got a WHOLE, BIG METAL CAR! This will be like STEPPING ON ANTS!" SAM: "It wouldn't be sporting to just run over them... would it?" MAX: "Yes... yes, it would!" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAX: "I feel lightheaded, Sam. I think my brain is out of air. But it's kind of a neat feeling." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAX: "I have to use the ghastly-smelling restroom!" SAM: "Here -- use these special tongs for anything you have to handle." MAX: "ANYTHING?" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SAM: "Sometime we should sit down and have a spiritual discussion about the sanctity of life." MAX: "BLAM! And then he was mucilage! Did you say something, Sam?" SAM: "Forget it, little buddy." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SAM: "Max, in America, it's customary to drive on the right." MAX: "It's turning into a damn police state, Sam!" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= STOREKEEPER: "NOOO. I can't stand it. It's killing me! AARRGH!" SAM: "I've never witnessed such mind-numbing horror -- well there was that geriatric, nude-volleyball tournament..." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAX: "Did you check the car to see if it's okay for a long trip Sam?" SAM: "Well, the wheels are still on... and here's the ignition key, everything checks out." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAX (wearing eyepatch): "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye! And believe me, I KNOW!"