brain scratch (dethbunny) wrote,
brain scratch
dethbunny

You just want to keep your eyes closed and erase the world

     While flying is still the fastest way to get from point A to point B, there is one facet of traveling by air that I will never instantly accept—at least not without a moment or two of fearful panic.
     The cold fear that slides ucomfortably into basic nause happens just as I am airborn or about twenty minutes before landing. I hear the pilot say in his best "this-is-merely-routine" voice announce, "Ladies and gentlemen...(a) we have an unusual amount of air or ground traffic; (b) our visibility has just dropped below minimum standards; or (c) we have a red light up here showing an equipment malfunction. So, we are going into a holding pattern until we can get a clearance to land."
     Then it's white-knuckle and sweaty-palm time.
     I think some of you know all about the trauma of a holding pattern, yet you have never even been in an airplane.
     Life has presented you this particular changepoint, and the fear and nausea of a holding pattern continually eat away at you. It's a dull, sickening dread, which creeps over you each morning as you expereince your first conscious moments. You just want to keep your eyes closed and erase the world, but it's always there.
     Your pattern may be holding because of a physical condition. The pain or disease may be steadily deteriorating your body, or it may be the cycling kind, so that just when you think it's gone, it returns again.
     For others of you, your holding pattern is the totally unacceptable life-style of a husband, a son, a daughter, or other member of your immedaite family. [Not to mention good friend.]
     Perhaps you have a holding pattern that involves an unsolvable circumstance, and you've prayed over it for years. You know God hears those endless prayers of yours, but His answer is not yes or no but, rather, "not now." The frustration of the unanswered why continues the holding pattern.

-Joyce Landorf, Changepoints

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