A Short History of All That is Important

Okay time fo fill this iddy biddy widdle box on my userinfo page. I'm a student at Western Illinois University, where I study computer science for the moment, but that'll likely change to something more fun like broadcasting.

I like the majority of the stuff in my interest list below, so it's a good place to get an idea on where I stand on a subject.

On many topics...you could probably call me a libertarian with Christian beliefs. Drug legalization? sure. All that stuff, it's all good. Let people do things if they want to, especially if it only effects themselves. If I think it's wrong, I think it's wrong. Nothing more, nothing less. Personal freedom is important.

Why? Well, people look at the modern US as a Christian society. It's slowly going another direction. When Christianity becomes the minority, I still want to be treated fairly. Golden rule, got it?

Anything else I should put in here? Let me know.

tech punk
art fuck
geek rock
hard core
spaz attack
(all that and a four-slice toaster)

The below I did not write, yet every word is true:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees; I write award-winning operas; I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing; I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello; I was scouted by the Mets; I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance; I weave; I dodge; I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet; I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.